I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize