I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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