problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
