seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
