Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
