piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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