am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he fucked my hip out of place.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
