6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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