It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize