If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
