i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
