I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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