I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
