at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just tell him i said nine months
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize