Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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