There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
