Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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