some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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