I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Less talking, more tequila
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
