I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
