Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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