..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
