its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
