That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
