i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize