just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Im part way to drunk.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
