Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She bit a glass in half.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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