How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
