I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
meet me or not, i'm out of control
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
