May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My vagina is officially offended.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
