Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
