I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
