if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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