you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
