Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
