Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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