Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i wish my penis had a tongue
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize