Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
