I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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