I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
