you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
