i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize