come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
