Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
