youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize