Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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