p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I AM VODKA MAN
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
