Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
