I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
