I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i wish my penis had a tongue
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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