I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
