I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize