I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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