He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
