so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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