Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
