never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
