I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
