Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize