but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
