Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
