I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
