You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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