I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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