In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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