Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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