I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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