barbara walters just said penis...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
