There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
organizing the empties. That sober.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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