Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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