my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
