I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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