I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
