We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
