Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
