Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
