making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
