everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize