he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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